What If
by nicksy-tricksy
Summary: Oneshot Emily and Paige have been friends for a while, but now Paige had to leave, what will Emily do about it, when she realizes she can't live without her? A battle between heart and mind. In italic are the heart and mind talking P.S.: Sorry for my English. Hope you enjoy.


"_Go talk to her"_ Emily's heart kept telling her

"_Don't go, the chances she feels the same are almost zero"_ her head would reply

"_You'll never know if you don't try, and there's a chance she feels the same" Her heart would insist_

"_If not, what's probably going to happen, you'll have humiliated yourself, and will have lost a friend along the way, and maybe even other friends if they find out" _

"_If you keep this for yourself, it will be worse for you, you need to try, she's a great girl, she'll understand and respect even if it's not mutual"_

"_What if she doesn't? Can you handle the consequences; you're not even sure about how you feel"_

"_You're sure, believe in me, believe in your heart, you're sure about this"_

"_How can you be sure of such a thing, it's not logical, you don't know her for that long, you never showed any interest for this before, maybe it's just a phase, it'll pass and things will get back to normal"_

"_Feelings are not supposed to be logical, trust your feelings or you'll be asking yourself 'what if?' for the rest of your life"_

'_I say don`t go"_

"_I say go"_

While this battle between her head and her heart went on and on, she kept looking at her. How beautiful she was, this girl that in such a short time managed to get so close to her, and became so important, she couldn't imagine her life without her anymore, for the last few years, she'd been there for her all the time. At the good ones, the bad ones even the sad ones. Nobody had never gotten along with her so well as she did. Paige. Even by the thought of her name, Emily could listen to her heart saying _"Go! Go! Go!" _and for a second she considers it but then it comes her head and tell her _"Don't go! Don't go! Don't go!" _ Her head was starting to hurt because of this internal battle.

The thing was, that that night, could be the last time they see each other. Emily was actually at Paige's leaving party. A couple of weeks ago Paige received the answer she was waiting for, saying if he was accepted or not for an internship in Europe and if it went well then she'd probably stay there, and build a life there. This thought put tears in her eyes, she was happy for Paige, but extremely sad for herself. When she realized that, was when she thought that maybe, she was feeling something else for her. Things only became clearer when Paige started seeing this guy from one of her classes, and whenever Emily saw them together she'd feel the urge to punch him, but she kept it for herself, she thought it was for the best.

Thankfully, Paige broke up with this guy. Emily never really felt like Paige had real feelings for him anyway, she was always around boys. Dating one or another eventually, but Emily never heard her talking about them in an affectionate way, and every time Emily would ask about her feelings towards them, she would always find a way around the topic and never give a straight answer.

There she was surrounded by these guys who probably junst want to get her to bed. Who could blame them? She was so beautiful, those hazel eyes and straight long hair. She was amazing, smart and funny. She was perfect in Emily's eyes.

Emily couldn't stop looking at her, the whole night, she was with other friends but always looking around to see her. But then, Paige looked at her and gave a small smile, Emily happily returned the smile when she noticed that Paige was moving her head in the direction of the back door, wanting to go out maybe? Emily thought. But Emily wasn't sure she could trust herself around Paige, that she could be cool and not spill everything that had been in her head and heart these past weeks. But she couldn't say no to her either, so she told her friends she was getting something to drink and headed in the direction Paige pointed, only to meet her outside.

As soon as she got to the back of he house she felt somebody getting her hands, she got a little surprised, then she saw it was Paige, pushing her, taking her to some place Emily had no idea of. But soon she realized that Paige was actually trying to get to the roof of the house. Again, Emily didn`t argue, it was probably her last night with Paige, after the party she was heading back to their apartment to get her stuff, that were already packed, to go to the airport.

"What are you doing?" Emily asked

"I wanna show you something, just trust me" Paige answered already climbing the stairs

"You're crazy, you know that right?" Emily said following her

"you're even crazier for following me" She said getting to the top and turning to help Emily get there

"You got a point" Emily said with a smile. Paige sit right in the middle of the roof and made a sign for Emily to sit by her side, which she did

"You know Ems, you're very important to me" She started and with this Emily's heart started beating faster

"And you're very important to me Paige" She replied while she could still control her mouth

"I consider you my family, I don't know what I would've done these past few years without you" As she started speaking she was looking straight into Emily's eyes and this was killing her.

"_FAMILY! She doesn't feel the same, she loves you like she loves any other family member"_ Her head started again

"Even more than family, I can't even find words to say how important you are" She continued

"_See! It's more than that, tell her how you feel" _Her heart entered the discussion

Emily cound't hold the tears any much longer, she started looking at the moon to see f she could control herself better, it was like Paige's eyes could penetrate her soul, and Emily was too scared to let her see what was in there

"What is it Ems?" Paige asked when Emily turned her head

"_She's asking for it, tell her!"_

"_Don't tell her, she's heading to Europe, she wouldn't let that go away because of you"_

"The moon is beautiful tonight" Emily couldn't believe she'd just said that

"Not as beautiful as you" Emily turned right away, did Paige just said that or was it her mind playing tricks, very cruel tricks on her. It couldn't have been in the way Emily hoped for. Paige stopped there, like waiting for Emily to do something but Emily was paralyzed by fear, she managed to open her mouth but nothing came out. "You wanna say something?" Paige asked

"_Tell her Tell her Tell her, I'm gonna find a way to tell her myself"_

"_Stupid heart, that's wahy you always get hurt, you just can't think"_

"_I'm a heart, not a brain, I don't think, I act, I feel"_

"_Yeah and most of the times this just get people into trouble, and pain"_

"_It also brings love, happiness and joy, even if it is just for a second, It's worth it"_

"_How come seconds of happiness be worth if you suffer for the next years? Don't tell her, you're only gonna hurt yourself"_

"_She called you beautiful, you heard it, it wasn't a trick, tell her"_

This was too much for Emily her head was almost exploding along with her heart. She put her hands on her face and closed her eyes trying really hard to make those voices shut up inside her.

"What is it Emily?"

"I'm just" She started "I'm gonna miss you too hard" she managed to say

"Me too" Paige said, a little sad, and also disappointed "But I don't really have any reason to stay, college is over, I just need an internship." She stopped a bit and continued. "Do you have a reason for me to stay?" She asked looking deeply into Emily`s eyes, causing her to panic

"_That's it, she knows, just tell her to stay because you love her, because that's how you feel"_

"_You really think that your feelings for her will make her give up on her internship in Europe, think about it, it's a lost cause"_

"_Tell her!"_

"_Don't't!"_

Emily had no idea what to do, she wanted to jump from the roof just to escape this situation, she closed her eyes again, took a deep breath, tried to calm herself, trying to recap the whole conversation as fast as she could, Paige wouldn't be there forever, does she fell the same way? Does she not? Should she declare her love even though she herself wasn't sure about it? What if she was wrong about her feelings? What if Paige didn't feel the same? What if Paige did feel the same but Emily ends up finding out she didn't love her in the first place? What if….?


End file.
